So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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