Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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