That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
