So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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