So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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