K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
