She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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