Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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