Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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