So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
