Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
