i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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