great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
