its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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