That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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