so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
