He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
