ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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