Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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