butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
