How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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