4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
