I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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