i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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