Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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