haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
