I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i just google imaged poop.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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