Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ryanfromde hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon

Fav 15 2220 947
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me

Fav 9 1939 1151
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.

Fav 7 1153 641
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.

Fav 1 1088 576
share tweet
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night

Fav 0 639 503
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.

Fav 1 679 358
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(205): View more from Alabama

At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low

Fav 1 427 357
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.

Fav 0 13 40
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control

Fav 0 7 27
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT