theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
