shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
