Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
