She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
