I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
