we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
