she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
