You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
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