I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
