Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
