when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
