I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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