Your face is a jimmy john
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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