If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize