You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
