You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
