I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
