Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
