if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
