Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
