lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
