i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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