There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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